Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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