I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
