Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
