9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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