so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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