you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
