I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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