So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
