I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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