Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
