my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize