I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
