his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
