Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
