i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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