remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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