The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize