All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
