Buhtt sex?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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