I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
