Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
