Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
