so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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