You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
