Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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