He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize