Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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