I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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