when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
