you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
