New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
