yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You made out with two different species that night
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
