I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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