Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
