I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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