I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You ruined the universe
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
