There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
