Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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