I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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