She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
