get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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