is your mom at the bar?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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