I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
