the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize