so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
