I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
