See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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