Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize