I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
