I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
