guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
