it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
