just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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