Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
