I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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