my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I wish i was in the wii world.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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