you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So. Much. Porn.
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