You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
