Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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