I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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