I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
