i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
