why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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