Got a toothbrush?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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