I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
my god I love twenty year old dicks
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
